Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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