So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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