Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
