She's JV to your varsity
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
