Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
