Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
