I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
