ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
