you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
