just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
