I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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