yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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