I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
