so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
