Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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