Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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