Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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