Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
