Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
