Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
