Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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