Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
