So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
