I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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