I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
