I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
