i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
