dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
