i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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