I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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