mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
false alarm. still invincible.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
