And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
