At least make sure they are 18
Why
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
