What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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