It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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