SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
as a side note pls kill me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
