they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
