Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Who died my cat blue again?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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