The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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