While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
