I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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