So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Drunk is a universal language darling
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