There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
