You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
