I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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