Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
