Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
