Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
