i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
