U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
